The Hype over Frozen: Why I'm Not Buying It

These days I've been so pressured, which is weird considering it is winter break. The next few months are definitely what I consider "crunch" time, so I will not be blogging until May. See you then.

I mean, realistically, I guess I could fit in a few posts. But the thing is, whenever I blog, I feel like I can be doing something more productive. And that I'll regret it later (the next few months are like things that depend on prep for a long period of time, so if I don't succeed, I'll start regretting doing anything else other than prep). Also, the amount of time it takes me to blog is usually way off of my estimate (I mean way off as in it takes a lot longer). I'm one of those freaks who are completely obsessed with their time, so it really throws me off when blogging takes forever.

But right now, my mom is handling an international phone call and I thought it would be rude to start practicing piano at this moment (although I am in dire need to...I haven't practiced in 4 days due to a family vacation). Therefore, I thought it would be fitting to write about what has been on my mind.

In America, a new Disney movie called "Frozen" has graced the cinemas around Christmas time. I myself gave into the hype and went to go watch it on Christmas Eve. Basically, it is everyone's new obsession. I too thought it was an unconventional story that derived from the usual Prince Charming crap (which is why I disliked Tangled when everyone liked it by the way-the main male lead thought he had swag). It also had two female leads, and it was simply a joy to watch two relationships blossom simultaneously-our romantic one as well as a family/friendship one. The older sister, Elsa, pretty much contributed to making the most elegant and beautiful scenery of all Disney time (I just love snow. It is gorgeous).

But now on to why I'm not obsessed with this beautiful movie. I'm one of those prickly apathetic people who aren't impressed if the logic of the movie is skewed (which is why I also dislike Tangled, but I'll explain that later). The most obvious of which is Hans' sudden change of heart for Anna. I mean, WTH is that? With how he developed as a character so far, it totes didn't make sense! He was a total sweetheart and a helpful hand to all the people of Arendelle until the movie producers decided that they needed a way to get rid of him (I was wondering how they were going to do it ever since Anna met Kristoff...it was kinda obvious they would end up together). One of the most important aspects of a good movie is that their characters are deeply written and well thought out-but there was no sign of warning that Hans was going to turn his back. Even though the producers tried explaining that it was all a plan to gain the throne and BS, it came off as total screen manipulation to me! If he really wanted to gain the throne, wouldn't he have continued professing his "love" for Anna and kissed her anyway? All he needs to get rid of is Elsa, NOT Anna (that sounded really sadistic, didn't it?). So basically, even if we went along with the producers' mindset that he needed a change of heart or whatever, him letting Anna die is a completely pointless step.

Okay, next is that the movie makers (I'm really not sure who's in charge of the plot...the writer?) never resolved the Elsa problem! Why did her parents lock her away in the first place? Because her ice powers would get stronger each day and she had the potential of killing people. Then she ran away after everyone discovered her powers and the castle became drowned out in snow and ice. When Anna finds her to tell her to restore Arendelle, Elsa accidentally shoots her in the heart. The land turns back to normal, and Elsa makes ice sculptures and stuff to entertain people. But doesn't she still have the potential to accidentally kill people? I wish the writer explained more of how she was no longer afraid about her potential or whatever, because the Elsa problem is still blatantly there.

Next is our lovely Kristoff. Initially, personality-wise and integrity-wise, Kristoff and Hans were exactly the same. I really didn't know who to choose because they had no differentiating traits (except the fact that Hans was a lot smoother I guess). On a side note, this means that there is an equal probability that Kristoff could turn his back on Anna, just as Hans did. But that's not the main problem. When Anna told Kristoff that she was engaged to Hans after knowing him for a day, Kristoff flipped out. He said that you can't really know what true love is after a day. However, Kristoff also rapidly fell in love with Anna, and that was credited as true love by the movie makers. Well, I guess their adventure could've spawned several months because the time was never specified, so that would make sense.

The thing that the movie makers did right was the act of true love. In Tangled, Rapunzel already lost her hair powers and she was still magically able to save Flynn from death. When Anna defended Elsa in Frozen, it was before she was going to freeze. The timing was right! I think these Disney folks learned a thing or two about what went wrong in Tangled and fixed it.

However, I guess the plots in Disney movies don't have to make sense after all because-well-they're magical. Disney is all about your imagination, so dream away.

Kristoff was a pretty good male lead. I'm glad Disney considered the clumsy but awesome people of our society.

Untimely Self-Destruction

HEY SO I'm sick of editing so this is raw words that I'm vomiting out. Don't judge lol.

You know how I feel? If we go generic, I would say I feel like a bird who's wings have been clipped, thirsty for the crisp rush of flight. If we go nerdy (yeah!!), I would say I feel like Sirius Black, forced to live a life sentence in his moldy house while all the other OWL members are out there fighting the Death Eaters (who are mostly Slytherins...wow a double chain has been placed on Sirius...he is forced to live in the Slytherins' kingdom, who are his enemies, and he cannot fight against them #neverthoughtofthat # itdoesn'tmakesenseactually :( ). If we go all political, I would say I'm fine. If we go all HONEST, I would I am feeling hella jealous of other people and I'll explain why soon!!!

*note: yeah I guess Christians do swear hurhurhur gotta problem

Something that nags me everytime I go to Speech and Debate practice is that fact that I haven't gone to any tournaments this year. I almost wish that last year I hadn't done well so my pride wouldn't swell up. Well, actually, nah I'm glad I did well last year. Because of it, I was able to realize that my hard work could equal success and that I did have the potential to speak well in front of other people. It was an affirmation and a confidence-booster that I could lead other people and verbally analyze with them. Now this is starting to sound a lot like a speech, so I'll shut up because speeches are all professional and weird. 

Basically, I miss the rush of pride when I break at tournaments! Ughh yes, I am super duper competitive and it's super unhealthy. I even feel like enumerating my awards right here and now, but that would be hypocritical, because that's exactly what led me to feel sad in the first place (I mean other people...enumerating their awards). Coincidentally, I was not able to attend any of the tournaments so far this year (I always had something that came up...honor choir (WHICH WAS awesome), PAN, etc.). Thus, I yearn and yearn and yearn to prove myself to others that I still am currently a great speaker and stuff. But what does this matter? I think God noticed how prideful I was about my speaking and how that started to become part of my identity. It was perhaps His doing that I couldn't go to any tournaments so far...to humble me up.

Okay so I'm in this event called Impromptu and basically there's this girl on facebook who's new to impromptu and she won 2 awards in it so far and keeps publicizing about it. It annoys me for some reason (to the point where I feel like blocking her...which is dumb because it's two awards, right?), even though I fully know I should be congratulating her. There's a part of me that screams "I WOULDVE GOTTEN THOSE AWARDS IF I HAD ATTENDED," but part of life is telling your selfish self to shut up. And part of me says...what if I lost the ability to do well? What if my competitors got so advanced that I can't break anymore? 

What if my wings were permanently clipped...like Beethoven when he lost his hearing?

So yeah...worry and jealousy is not a good combo. What a ball of pessimism. 

I have been doing not-so-well in my classes. I hardly understand the concepts of some of the stuff I'm studying, and next week I believe I have five tests (and the week after is finals). I should've done more earlier, but I'm gonna trust God that I'll get through all of this and that I'll have enough energy to study for everything too!

By the way, I feel like people...even Christians themselves...perceive Christianity as a moral standard. Like, to be a Christian, one must forgive, love, do good things, etc. Sometimes we think it's a lot about doing, when actually, there ain't no morals involved in the core of Christianity. Christianity is almost the opposite...realizing that you'll never be perfect and there's nothing you can do to get into a perfect heaven (cuz we ain't perfect) and then trusting Jesus to cover for your sins. It's not about hustling, it's about being? Did that make sense? I hope it made sense. yolo right?

Okay I'm going to study now cuz ughhhhhihihgiheogn

They Kiss Again Ep 4 Recap 1/2

Man, it's been too long. MUCHO KISSES

Okay, yes I've realized that each episode is hecka long so from now on I think I'll break the recaps into two parts.

By the way, if you aren't that wrapped up in Taiwanese entertainment, I should tell you that our very own Zhi Shu (Joe Cheng) is going to be collaborating with TKA's director again to film a new drama!

As long as Director Winnie doesn't give Joe a character as unfitting for him as Frank (from Love or Bread), I think things should turn out great! Since Joe's 'wife' Ariel already has TWO Golden Bell Awards BOTH under Director Winnie, now it's definitely Joe's turn. It's also a breath of fresh air to know that Joe is working on new projects because the most of the dramas I've watched have a lot of inactive drama actors (aka currently not doing any dramas and probably will never again. for example, Ariel Lin and Ethan Ruan, two of my favs D:). With Joe back on the scene and Director Winnie's widespread popularity, whatever drama they are preparing for is sure to be a big hit.

As an actor, Joe's versatility is rather limited, but in the roles he is suited for, he shines brighter than all competition. I'm pretty sure Director Winnie realizes this (I hope he watched Love or Bread because that was a disaster). I guess it's better to be really good at one thing rather than okay at everything. But then again, we have Ariel, who is extremely versatile and pretty much perfect at everything she does (it is rumored that she can film everything in one take).

Okay, and now we have episode 4! I haven't been visiting my Taiwanese kids in so long, so I don't know exactly what is going on. But that's alright, we'll catch up together.

Eww gooddrama.net has MORE ads now D:

Xiang Qin has successfully escaped Zhi Shu's grasp and is leaping through the school in the dark. She goes to her desk to try to find the test papers for Class A tomorrow, but she fails. A policeman outside the window shines his flashlight on her face and accuses her of thievery. Xiang Qin worsens the situation by shouting at him not the shine it in her face and that it's none of his business! She even shines her flashlight in his face too (lub).

Thus, Xiang Qin is sent to the police station, with Zhi Shu coming to bail her....AGAIN?

2cute

He looks resigned and says to the police, "I apologize for my wife's actions." Xiang Qin chatters away and tell the police, "See? This is my husband. Just as I told you...very handsome." Xiang Qin also apologizes for her actions to the head police and Zhi Shu tells Xiang Qin that tomorrow she should just honestly say that she lost the papers (His irritated face OMG it's asdfjkl;asdfjkl;asdfjkl; <3). Xiang Qin apologizes and says she simply wanted to solve her problems by herself. He also says that she should stop meddling in Yu Shu and Hao Mei's affairs, but she retorts that if Hao Mei wants to get to the Top 100, then she'll help her get there!

The next day, Mr. Hire-me-as-a-fake-teacher-for-$6-an-hour starts reprimanding Xiang Qin for being so bad at teaching and at life (he's a bad actor, I think even I could do better than him!). Afterwards, Xiang Qin is walking across the school bridge (what a beautiful school, by the way), when some students stop her and tease her about her arrest last night. Everyone she passes is gossiping about her, which is the opposite of her envisioned fawning students. Hao Mei stops her and says that she's really glad that nobody's talking about Yu Shu rejecting her yesterday and says thank you to Xiang Qin. Xiang Qin asks her what she's thanking her for, and Hao Mei says since everyone is so busy talking about Xiang Qin's stupidity, they forgot about her! Of course, Xiang Qin doesn't really understand how that's suppose to make her sad or whatever, so she resumes her cheerful personality. That is probably the best feature of Xiang Qin; she doesn't let these situations affect her happiness that much and she is quick to forgive people who have insulted her. She tells Hao Mei that she'll tutor her afterschool everyday so that she can get to the Top 100!

Damn. Another cake. This is the weirdest looking one in the history of ISWAK/TKA. It looks like two huge pancakes smushed together. (Prettiest cake goes to Zhi Shu's Christmas cake, of course).
Hao Mei comes after school, and Jiang Mama and Xiang Qin are busy matchmaking Yu Shu and her. Later at night, Xiang Qin is tutoring Hao Mei, when Yu Shu and Zhi Shu come to spy on them. Xiang Qin is having trouble and Yu Shu tells Zhi Shu that this whole thing is stupid and that he better not help tutor Hao Mei. Zhi Shu smiles deviously and tells him to eat dinner. Zhi Shu enters and asks Hao Mei what's going on, and Hao Mei says that Xiang Qin let her do the problem, but after five minutes she fell asleep! Zhi Shu looks at her and asks Hao Mei how the process is going. Hao Mei says that they're on problem 2, and Zhi Shu exclaims that they've only done 1 problem in 1 and a half hours (and that the first problem's answer is incorrect).

He says that he will tutor her, but she can't tell Xiang Qin anything about it, because at least she tried. I think he's thinking back to earlier in the episode where Xiang Qin told him that she wanted to resolve problems herself and become more independent (as Zhi Shu told her to do earlier).

Later on, Xiang Qin and Hao Mei race to the board and find out that Hao Mei is 97th in the school! She scored into the top 100, which means that she can be Yu Shu's friend now. Yu Shu unenthusiastically says, "I guess we're good friends now" and falls down the steps.

At night, Xiang Qin stands on the balcony outside of Yu Shu's room and asks him how does it feel to have Hao Mei as a friend? He responds by closing the curtain on his window.

Zhi Shu is sleeping in their pink bed, when he notices that Xiang Qin isn't there. Xiang Qin, being the thoughtful wife that she is, placed a stuffed dog on her pillow (to make Zhi Shu think that she was there). Zhi Shu goes to investigate where she is, and he finds her downstairs, rehearsing what she'll say in tomorrow's teacher examination. Yu Shu joins him and says, "Still practicing?! She already practiced three times upstairs." Xiang Qin continues rehearsing and imagines the potential questions she'll have to answer. She imitates Yu Shu and asks, "Does Mr. Almost hint at modern people?" Xiang Qin rehearses her candid answer. The real Yu Shu looks at her with disgust and says, "What a stupid question! I would never ask that." Zhi Shu looks at him right before Yu Shu goes upstairs and says, "I know you don't like stupid people, but please do not bully my wife." (BEST HUSBAND AWARD!!).

The next day, Xiang Qin tries to do what she rehearsed, but she stutters and starts doing her unprofessional Xiang Qin habits. She goes through the lesson more smoothly than she did in the past, but a student asks her to analyze and compare two passages. Yu Shu defends her and says that it is the student's responsibility to analyze, and that he shouldn't be interrupting the teacher's lesson. The student asks Yu Shu to ask her a question, and Yu Shu grudgingly mutters, "Does Mr. Almost hint at modern people?" Xiang Qin happily gives him her rehearsed answer.

Even Xiang Qin's evaluators say that she has improved a lot. One of them tells her, "Student, don't run in the halls!" She replies, "Okay!" and keeps running (lol). Xiang Qin is bubbly with excitement when she tells Zhi Shu that she did well today. Zhi Shu looks slightly amused as always, and Xiang Qin says that it was such a coincidence that Yu Shu asked her a question that she prepared! She said that God must have seen her hard work and blessed her because of it. Zhi Shu goes along with this logic and mutters, "Lucky fellow." Xiang Qin asks him what he said, but he said it was nothing.

The next day is Xiang Qin's last day teaching school. She gives a very sentimental speech to the "cute and innocent" faces in Class A and says that she'll never forget them (even though they deride her all the time). They give her a bouquet of flowers (the bouquets in Taiwan look 10x bigger and prettier than our wimpy dozen roses here D:) and kindly request that she never consider becoming a teacher due to her uniqueness (overload on sugar-coating). Xiang Qin understands their main point though, and walks dejectedly to her last class, Class F.

Class F surprises her by singing a song and piling her with gifts. In her office, the students say that they actually really like her. Xiang Qin is shocked and says that she thought no one wanted her to become a teacher. Hao Mei reassures her by saying, "Every student is different, so the teachers should be different too!" Her dreams of being idolized by students is coming true!!

Zhi Shu is outside washing a car (and Xiang Qin is inside eating) when Xiang Qin asks Jiang Mama if she can go somewhere adventurous during their school break. Jiang Mama says that she should go somewhere with Zhi Shu, but Xiang Qin replies that Zhi Shu is busy over the break.

The Voice Battle Rounds-Night Two Recaps

As always, by the lovely Esther Kao.

Jacob Poole vs. Matthew Schuler

Going into this, I thought that Matthew would cream Jacob. Partially because Matthew was a 4-chair and I had absolutely no recollection of Jacob Poole’s blind, because his audition was a montage. Anyway, listening to the battle, it seemed that Christina chose the song to complement Jacob’s voice, and to challenge Matthew a bit. I do think that Jacob really stepped it up, but on the other hand, Matthew did too. The battle was really even, and Christina, clearly going off from Matthew’s blind, chose Matthew. Of course, it was to be expected. Christina’s smart enough not to let a 9 second (or however long it was) 4-chair slip right through her hands.

Kat Robichaud vs. R. Anthony

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2xK3hRrGQ8 (can't. get. the. video. to. upload.)

This was such an entertaining battle round to watch, partially because Kat was bouncing up and down like a spring the whole time. Her dancing wasn’t bad, necessarily—it was… interesting. But aside from that, they both delivered on this sappy song, but I have to say that Kat threw herself in wholeheartedly. Perhaps that’s where all the energy for her epic tippy-toes came from later in the song. You’ve got to wonder how she managed to tiptoe in her 4-inchish high boots, though… Anyway, after that show, CeeLo just had to give her the win, didn’t he?

Monika Leigh vs. Ray Boudreaux

Dang, I really liked this battle. I’ve dug Ray’s voice since the blinds, and his daughter is like ridiculously cute—he is working that unfair advantage, haha. I thought they complimented each other really well, while still managing to stay true to themselves. Ray here felt more solid, so I was rooting for him when Blake was making his decision. I was also impressed by Monika, however, and am glad that CeeLo stole her. Overall pretty happy with this battle round.

There were also three lovely montaged battle rounds, because the producers of the Voice are lovely and fair to all their artists like that:

Cole Vosbury vs. Lupe Carroll

                Winner: Cole Vosbury

E. G. Daily vs. Sam Cerniglia

                Winner: E. G. Daily (go Dotty!)

Ashley Dubose vs. Justin Blake

                Winner: Ashley Dubose

The Voice-Battle Rounds Night One Recap!

Let's welcome guest writer Esther Kao, who is reporting on the first battle rounds of Season 5!

And the battle rounds start off with a BANG! Let's go baby!

Tonight we're serving:

Donna Allen vs. Tessanne Chin

Briana Cuoco vs. Jacquie Lee

Anthony Paul vs. Caroline Pennell

Shelbie Z vs. Justin Chain

Gray vs. Nic Hawk

Amber Nicole vs. Timyra-Joi

Donna Allen vs. Tessanne Chin

While this was definitely a stellar battle round, I have to admit that I was completely unsurprised by how it went. It made a lot of sense—Tessanne = great singer + Donna = great singer equals great battle round. And it was. Adam picked Tessanne, which I do concur with, because her vocals are just a little more polished and controlled. What did surprise me, though, is the fact that no one. Stole. Donna. She has this awesome rasp and was clearly up to par with Tessanne, who is in her own little level. So I’m a bit baffled as how this one played out.

Briana Cuoco vs. Jacquie Lee

Before I watched this battle, I was completely unimpressed with Briana Cuoco’s voice, albeit having a soft side for her, since she’s Mary Bennet in Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and had a high opinion Jacquie Lee, since her cover of Back to Black during the blinds was extremely interesting. This song, however, brought out an entirely new, sultry side to Ms. Cuoco, which only has me further convinced that song choice is key. Jacquie started out a bit nervous, but by the end of the song she’d won me over. I agreed with Christina’s choice to keep her, because although Briana impressed me, I can see Jacquie going so much further in the long run.

And by the way, Briana made a terrible choice by choosing Blake over CeeLo. Not only does CeeLo seem better equipped for a singer like Briana, Blake has a history of sending deserving artists home in favor of his boring, original team (think MarissaAnn vs Julio Cesar Chavez and Luke Edgemon vs Holly Tucker). Hopefully the coaches are going to be using those knockout steals, because Briana faces a very high chance of going home during the Knockouts. Oh, and is it just me, or does Briana sound like Team Blake’s Michelle Raitzin from Season 4?

Anthony Paul vs. Caroline Pennell

First of all, Caroline is one of the most adorable things I have seen in my life. Secondly, I loved her interpretation, and the way she scoops and dives and just the stunning simplicity in her voice. The only thing I can see becoming an issue is her becoming another Melanie Martinez—where everything she sings sounds exactly. The. Same. Hopefully she’ll learn the key to being interestingly and consistently unique. Meanwhile, Mr. Anthony Paul was pulling some heartstrings of his own. He reminded me a bit of a cello, actually, pulling and pushing—pardon my analogy. And is it just me, or does he look a bit like a mannequin? Or an alien.

As for Christina’s steal—she must have really liked his falsetto. But I am reasonably pleased with this battle round.

Shelbie Z vs. Justin Chain

I really do like country. And I thought that these two country singers did a great job. But it was just so expected. I was pleasantly surprised by Shelbie Z’s belting powers, but also agreed a lot with CeeLo—Justin Chain wasn’t really given a lot of room to shine. And they were really pleasant to listen to, but it isn’t the kind of performance that has me on my feet. Shelbie Z was the obvious choice, so I wasn’t surprised when Blake went for it.

Gray vs. Nic Hawk

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting from this pairing, especially since the song they were singing was Domino by Jessie J. But Grey really, really impressed me. Her vocals remind me a bit of Danielle Bradbury’s (yes, I’m still bitter), and the way she took control over the song was electrifying. Looking back at it, there was nothing hugely special about the battle, but for some reason it managed to hook me. I agree with Adam’s statement—Grey’s potential is limitless. She’s like a pop Danielle Bradbury. I’m excited to see her grow emotionally as a singer, because technically she’s almost 100% there. Nic, on the other hand, brought a sense of fun to the song. While the style of the song was definitely more up Grey’s alley, I thought that the overall vibe was something that fit Nic’s quirky personality pretty well. I was a little surprised that Blake stole him, though—Blake tends to steal girls because he doesn’t want them to cry. So perhaps he’s going to actually take Nic through to the lives. We’ll see.

Amber Nicole vs. Timyra-Joi

This was such an expected battle. I feel like ever since Amanda and Trevin’s battle, the coaches have constantly been trying to meet that same bar. So I came to this battle knowing exactly what I was going to hear—a lot of big notes and vocal acrobatics. And I wasn’t surprised. I have to admit, though, that I was pleasantly surprised by Amber, because her voice was interestingly nuanced, while Timyra seemed a bit delayed at times, which is the same issue I had with her during her Blind. So I was pleased when Christina handed Amber Nicole the win, although I had guessed that she would pick Timyra. What shocked me, though, was the fact that no one stole Miss Joi, because I’d thought that the coaches loved her. But whatever, I wish her luck.

That's it folks! Esther will hop in once in a while to give her opinions on...life...and TV shows.

Thank you :) Have an amazing day

I'M ALIVE

Yes I know, what a useless post. Yes, I'm still time-restrained and too unmotivated to write.

Bad news:

I may discontinue TKA recaps after episode 10! I am definitely going to force myself to finish recapping up to ep 10, but I think I'm losing interest in this drama (like WHAATTT? ITS JOE AND ARIEL HOW COULD YOU DO THIS ALYSSA!!!). I don't know, as I've said before, it's one of those dramas without a plot, and the only thing that's really carrying it is the romance between the two main leads. And when you get used to that, well...

Yeah and I also want to expand my watchings. Usually on the weekends I really feel like watching dramas but I've been avoiding them lately because 1) it distracts me from homework and learning, and I'm already pretty distracted 2) The Voice and Masterchef Junior have started and I seriously don't want to start any new shows (even though I know there's a ton of good American/Asian TV shows that I'm missing out on) because I know it'll distract me in eternity 3) I know it'll take me forever to watch if I start watching because I'm not one of those people who can watch 10 min of a drama that I like and then put it down for a week. NO. I must finish the whole episode in one seating! Or two. Or three.

So yup, I haven't watched one this week. I wish that some amazing Taiwanese drama would just come out like RIGHT NOW. Ugh, why doesn't Ethan Ruan make Taiwanese dramas anymore? All he's done for his last couple of gigs was trim his hair super short and filmed some military movies (yay ._.). COME BACK TO DRAMA SHOWBIZ BABY

School:

Whenever I hear someone talking, it's about school. WHAT IS SO INTERESTING ABOUT SCHOOL? Come on, shouldn't friendship go deeper than that? Okay well whatever now I will be a hypocrite and talk about school.

Books:

GUESS WHAT I've actually had barely any time to read any new books :O. In class we read Lord of the Flies, and our Lit teacher makes us write (A LOT) so I've been spending SO MUCH TIME trying to write good analyses of the Lord of the Flies. Ugh. It was tough cuz I'm so slow at writing and since I know it always takes me forever, I try to put it last on my list. So I end up writing my butt off from 7:00-12:30pm reading and writing and trying to make sense and editing my work. It's tough ._. I've always wanted an analytical teacher, but this is sort of killing me. Thank goodness we're starting a new book, otherwise I think I would've died. The problem is that we weren't allowed to write about anything we discussed in class or wrote about before. And we pretty much have discussion everyday, so there's not much that I can think of that's new, makes sense, AND is analytical. The essay was the hardest part; not only had we spent 4 or so weeks discussing the whole book (which meant we covered pretty much everything), but we had written like 8-ish papers on it already. So basically it's just hard to be original in class. Yup.

But overall, Lord of the Flies is sort of creepy. Don't read it at night; especially the last few chapters. It's not a horror book, but it just gives you an edgy, uncomfortable feeling that the beast is lurking in the corner...

I shall not summarize it because I am DONE with this book. NO MORE.

Also I am reading Thirteen Reasons Why (progress is slow), which is a book about a girl who records thirteen reasons why she killed herself (thirteen people responsible for her death). I think it's fine so far...it's not amazing, but it gives you a good view on how you never know what kind of consequences your loose actions lead to.

I decided to join Duo Interp with Urmila, so that means we have to choose a book to interp about! I don't even think I'm a good actor or a voicer, so I'm kinda nervous ._.

THE VOICE SEASON FIVE IS GREAT SO FAR

XTINA HAS A GREAT TEAM OF GREAT SINGERS

even though usually I always stick by my man Adam, this year I gotta hand it over to the female. Xtina knows what's up and she knows how to get the good singers to her team!

I'm having a bad day guys ._. I've lost my house keys (they're still lost in like school or somewhere help :'( ), my PE clothes (I swear I put them in my backpack, and they weren't in my locker when I checked ._.), and my sweater (it's cold inside ._.)

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS EXCEPT THE KEY THING BECAUSE UGH NOW WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE LOCK BECAUSE OF MY STUPIDITY

I'm not mad so let's ignore the caps lock.

This is a dum dum post.

You know what I always feel like I don't know the people in my class that well, or the people at Lynbrook. There are so many choices of classes, and I feel like since I am taking a certain set of classes, the same people will always end up in my classes. Someone mentioned it in Aletheia the other day...and I have found it to be true. There's a whole other group of people that I haven't had the opportunity to experience life and classes with simply because of the levels or electives we're taking. How sad. Oh well. Here's to another boring year (cheers! :) )

In which I egocentrically rant about...myself...

Hello everyone! As you may know, I am an INTP, however, I'd rather not identify myself by my personality. You know what I find very interesting? I find it interesting when people say they look for personality, humor, social skills, and looks when it comes to attraction. This isn't the main point, but I've always found it interesting how society places such an emphasis on humor and personality. I love funny people, but I really sympathize with non-funny people as well (like myself :'( let me go into a corner and cry...OR NOT because it's okay to not be funny!). I feel like every time I meet a new person, I'm pressured to have small talk with them and crack a few jokes along the way. How do people do that?! You barely know the person, so how is it so fluid and easy for some people to make them laugh? There are many things to consider; for one, you don't know whether they are familiar with your objects of irony (what if they are offended? what if they think you're lame?), and secondly it's freaking hard, okay? Even though I'm in the Speech Event called Spont(aneous Speaking), I can't be funny on the spot! The thing is that I guess overthinking it kills your unique-ness, however, it's harder than it seems. Anyway, I remember about a year ago I went on a cruise to Alaska and there was this teen group. The first time I went, I got introduced in a few people, tried small talk (I am horrendous, don't even ask), and it was okay because we were all new. The next time I went, BAM. Everyone had formed their own cliches and some of the people who were willing to talk to me the first time didn't even want to look at me. To make it clear, I wasn't being a jerk or anything, I was honestly trying my best to be myself and be nice (but I was quiet because the people intimidated me...) So I guess society places great emphasis on personality and humor, which kind of sucks for everyone else. But that's okay, because when you're not funny, at least you get to have greater appreciation for all kinds of people. It's like how if you experience homelessness, then you won't be quick to judge homeless people anymore.

You know the past few days we've been having a lot of discussions in Lit, and though I can't say I contribute as much as I originally had (many times I feel like we've exhausted the subjects we discuss everyday), it does really make you analyze more stuff in life. I was walking home last week, and then I started walking in a zig zag formation. You know, if we had grown up thinking that walking in a zig zag formation was the quickest way, we would be ignorant to the fact that walking straight down the sidewalk is soo much faster. Don't you think it's the same in life? Everyone-authors, scientists, etc.-tries to provide an answer to the meaning of life (or pretend to by ending their theory/book with some super vague derivative theme), but I don't think we're worthy of even trying to decipher the meaning ourselves. We only live in a 3D world while walking in a straight line-but what if there was a faster way of walking than in a straight line (think "A Wrinkle in Time")? What if there was 9 dimensions? Who knows? It be mindblowing!

Okay I'm suppose to be doing piano right now. Surprisingly, I don't have much more homework due tomorrow, but I think my grades are goin' down down down down down. It's funny because I should have a B in Chemistry already (yay it's like the 3rd week or so), but school loop keeps supporting me lol! I got solid B's on my last three assignments (which should VERY logically pull down my 90.97 down to a B), but school loop changed and now it rounds up! LOL! So now I have a 91%, which is even higher. Haha #lifeisnice

Oh yes...the first reason why I decided to write this was because I've been thinking lately and I have found that people get to know me is when we analyze life/people in objective ways. It's really interesting actually. Like I can't do small talk. I just can't. Who the heck likes talking about school all day? Well actually a lot of people probably do so I will not judge. I guess the reason I've been thinking about this is recently I liked this guy and I wanted to get to know him better, but there's only small talk to talk about. It's so hard to transition from normal stuff to hard-core analyzing, and obviously I didn't even know if he enjoyed analyzing or not. And anyway, I'm not even sure if I like analyzing anymore because I feel like I've exhausted most of my curious thoughts with Esther, so it's been pretty repetitive (but it is in human nature to repeat...and repeat...and repeat again...this is how theories are formed and math lessons learned!). To be honest, I have found that my personality is quite the bore, so the only thing that's memorable is my ability to talk about others/ideas/morals in an unbiased way. Which is why I find it interesting how everyone places an important emphasis on personality (not a bad thing though).

But then again, I guess it's hard for some people to be analytical! Well then I guess it's okay because I don't only like people who are smart! I like non-intellectual people too, they are super cool, and sometimes they talk about extremely interesting things as well. Yup...

Mary gave me gr9 advice last last retreat and she said the way to make friends is to make them feel comfortable. I've tried, I really have, but I still have a long way to go. Oh well, it's  irrelevant to the bigger picture anyway. Do you realize that once you view life in terms of death (as in you see everything leading up to death), everything becomes irrelevant? In fact, the only thing that seems relevant is after death, because that's where you're going to spend (or be non-existent) most of the time of the universe. Your life is freaking tiny.

But what happened to the guy? I gave up, because I think he likes some other girl anyway and I didn't want to waste my time. LOL sounds so strategic but it's just pushing thoughts out of your mind, if possible.

I am a good listener, so I can listen to people talk about anything and still feel entertained. For others, I was shocked to discover that it sometimes isn't so. Well, I shouldn't be shocked because I've learned to accept it, and I think it's perfectly fine for people to have different capacities for listening. Once I was talking to this kid (not really a kid, like my age) while watching a movie. I thought the conversation was alright; it was mostly small talk but I'm good at listening to small talk. Anyway, I sort of sucked at it as always, but I had the feeling that we sort of sucked at it equally. However, the next time it was interesting to find that this kid didn't want to talk to me as much afterwards, even though we sucked equally. It's okay, no grudges or anything of course, but it was kind of eye-opening. It's always eye-opening when you look at a different perspective and find that something that's so fundamental in your mind that you take it for granted isn't to other people.

For example, I find it obvious that you can be happy without money. Please don't take offense, I do try to keep my mind open and am totally fine with people who disagree with the money thing. Well anyway, it's just a concept that I've believed in so long that it's become a part of me, and naturally I assumed that most people with working minds would think the same thing. However, this week I was talking to my classmate and she said she was stressed about standing out and finding a great college to make lots of money. I asked her if she thought money=happiness and she said yes. She said, how can you be happy when your basic needs aren't met? You need money to survive! I didn't know what to say, lol. Her argument was pretty valid, but I never thought about it that way before. It's very interesting to hear other people's ideas of happiness.

Okay well anyway this is hecka long!